November 17, 2009
In a visit with the oncologist, he remarked upon the possibilities contained in the cells of the body – every one of them has all that is required to form a fingernail, or a tooth, or a tongue, or a retina of the eye, but each contains triggers that tell it which function it will perform. The present research in epigenetics as it relates to my illness, for example, is trying to figure out how to influence the triggers in a way to stop the development of the protein that wraps around the white cells and does not permit them to become functional. There is much progress, and there is a long way to go. It is very interesting to consider my thumbnail and reflect that with a different set of instructions, it could have been my ear lobe, or perhaps a bit of kidney. I have not yet begun to visit with various body parts and enquire of them whether they would rather be something more dramatic or visually interesting, and I hope for Charles’ sake that I do not. He would likely not speak of it anyway.
On January 20, 2010 I will reach the 4th anniversary of hearing the diagnosis of the bone marrow cancer, and when I look back at what we thought then, four years of further life were far beyond all expectations. Even one more year seemed just a possibility. Today I look at the sunlight outlining orchid blooms inside the Great Room, and out across a Sanctuary of land and creatures that I love so dearly. I hear Alphie beginning to stir as he responds to some signal from the slant of the winter sun that tells him that soon we must take our afternoon walk, and I arrive at that overused term, “Awesome”. My body does struggle – I join the great congregation of people who live their days in “chronic pain”, and that means that most of the time, unless one very carefully moves not an eyelash or muscle, there is pain or discomfort in a portion of the body. In mine, it is usually centered in those places where bone marrow is trying to do its work – the hip bones or the shoulders, etc. I have a well-thought-out regimen of medications that wraps a veil around the pain without blocking out the joy of living life itself. Some days are more successful than others, but that is true for everyone.
In Psalm 139, v.14, the psalmist’s words written so long ago still define in the best way the original construction plan for all of humanity. “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works; that I know very well”. And so we are, all of us. . . fearfully and wonderfully made, with every cell endowed with fearful and wonderful capacities. Thanks be to God.